Have you ever felt 'the inevitable' happen to you?
When it is your turn to go on the stage and perform… that uneasy feeling inside you. Sometimes you wish you were somewhere else; but you are not. You have to go out there and perform. Wasn’t it your choice to perform anyways? Technically yes. But at that time you know it is not you. There is something bigger at work.
I have felt ‘something-bigger-at-work’ happening lately in my life.
When I talk about my career
When I talk about getting married
When I talk about sustaining relationships
When I sit with my parents across the table eating dinner and they tell me all those things that adults talk about…
The inevitable has come.
I am not ready for life.
I have no clue why. I guess I am scared of making mistakes. I hate ‘I-told-you-so’s’.
It is not because I am self-righteous. I guess I do not want to go through the entire circle of incidents just to learn the simplest things in life. I don’t.
“One in hand is worth two in the bush”
“The people you meet while going up are the same people you meet; on your way down.”
“Loka deyi brahma gyaan, swatha matra korde pashan.” (People who often preach, are the ignorant ones)
“Usheera ney aalela yash thambta.” (Success that arrives late; stays.)
I would rather write these lines a thousand times as imposition, than living it through.
Happiness is good.
I have grown up seeing people have a career, a loving family and always a smile on their face. I always wanted that. I am lucky that I got that too.
But it feels different. Not like how I imagined as a kid.
It does not feel like ‘happiness’. It does not make me laugh-till-I-cry. It does not give me the foot rub relaxation. The way I feel after a meal; is what happiness feels like- content, like filling up a cavity.
Maybe that is happiness.
Now at the age of 26, happiness is something I need to reach- like a destination.
- Career
- Marriage
- Social responsibility as a human being
- Being a friend….
These and many more things are bridges to my happiness.
I have to make the right choices in career, marriage, friendship and other responsibilities.
Only then I will be happy.
All those people who say otherwise; are just smiling through an operation without anaesthesia.
Right choices are the ones that make me feel better about being a human being and brings out the best in others.
So simple, hai na?
The choices have to reflect who I am and who I am are trying to be.
Who am I? Who am I trying to be?
Good questions.
I have many options.
The degree of my happiness is dependent on the price I pay for each choice I make.
So this is what I am going to do for the next 50 years of my life…
So simple… piece of cake…
