Have you ever felt 'the inevitable' happen to you?
When it is your turn to go on the stage and perform… that uneasy feeling inside you. Sometimes you wish you were somewhere else; but you are not. You have to go out there and perform. Wasn’t it your choice to perform anyways? Technically yes. But at that time you know it is not you. There is something bigger at work.
I have felt ‘something-bigger-at-work’ happening lately in my life.
When I talk about my career
When I talk about getting married
When I talk about sustaining relationships
When I sit with my parents across the table eating dinner and they tell me all those things that adults talk about…
The inevitable has come.
I am not ready for life.
I have no clue why. I guess I am scared of making mistakes. I hate ‘I-told-you-so’s’.
It is not because I am self-righteous. I guess I do not want to go through the entire circle of incidents just to learn the simplest things in life. I don’t.
“One in hand is worth two in the bush”
“The people you meet while going up are the same people you meet; on your way down.”
“Loka deyi brahma gyaan, swatha matra korde pashan.” (People who often preach, are the ignorant ones)
“Usheera ney aalela yash thambta.” (Success that arrives late; stays.)
I would rather write these lines a thousand times as imposition, than living it through.
Happiness is good.
I have grown up seeing people have a career, a loving family and always a smile on their face. I always wanted that. I am lucky that I got that too.
But it feels different. Not like how I imagined as a kid.
It does not feel like ‘happiness’. It does not make me laugh-till-I-cry. It does not give me the foot rub relaxation. The way I feel after a meal; is what happiness feels like- content, like filling up a cavity.
Maybe that is happiness.
Now at the age of 26, happiness is something I need to reach- like a destination.
- Career
- Marriage
- Social responsibility as a human being
- Being a friend….
These and many more things are bridges to my happiness.
I have to make the right choices in career, marriage, friendship and other responsibilities.
Only then I will be happy.
All those people who say otherwise; are just smiling through an operation without anaesthesia.
Right choices are the ones that make me feel better about being a human being and brings out the best in others.
So simple, hai na?
The choices have to reflect who I am and who I am are trying to be.
Who am I? Who am I trying to be?
Good questions.
I have many options.
The degree of my happiness is dependent on the price I pay for each choice I make.
So this is what I am going to do for the next 50 years of my life…
So simple… piece of cake…
8 comments:
Pri...nice blog..We can have a hr long discussion that wud rather end up being more philosophical and conjecture.
I hav been running behind my career and relocating but in the end realized that happiness is something i have been seeking all the time in whichever form that appeals me.
Happiness is the feeling of being content. U can find it in the laughs on silly jokes that u share with ur best friends. a simple sms that connects u with ur world. Moms hand cooked food. Endless talks with a friend who is never tired of listening to ur crap and neither u r ready to give it up.
We have turned more materialistic than a satiable soul with limited ambitions and hunger for love.
We try n seek happiness in big cars and expensive clothing and by the time when we cud do all these thing we realise that we have lost the most beautiful days of our lives.
I wud rather talk to myself and have a check on what i really want to keep me happy and content. Ppl at times will call it being non- ambitious and laid back life. But as u said " So simple" as it can be , who cares what world thinks about you. Thats why i always say:
" Do not measure ur success by counts but by how many times u smile in a day and how you sleep in the night".
Almost everyone has a stage fright, but what's important is that you are ready with your performance. You have to gather strength to start your performance and then everything falls into place. As your performance proceeds, you will get the confidence to go ahead with it. But it’s important to begin the performance, if don’t begin with it, it will never end and you will have live with it for rest of your life.
You have felt that ‘something-bigger-at-work’ happening lately in your life, because you are not sure of what you want out of life and what you want out of relationships. Maybe you are not even sure of yourself.
If you are scared of making mistakes and if you hate ‘I-told-you-so’, then learn from other’s mistakes. If you do not want to go through the entire circle of incidents just to learn the simplest things in life, then learn from those who have gone through these incidents.
Happiness is not destination that you have to reach; it’s a feeling that will motivate you along your journey.
Always remember happiness has a different definition for everyone, what cause happiness to one can cause sadness to other.
Career, marriage are not our destinations, they are stages of our lives. One has to cross them to go ahead. Life does not end once you get married, infact we call it a new beginning, we define motherhood as a second life for woman. We always say that "we have started our career".
Moreover you don’t know if you have made a right choice right at the beginning of taking a decision, you only come to know about it once you have lived through your decision. That’s why we change a job, that’s why people get divorced because they have made a wrong choice.
We all have to pay price for our choices. Our choice reflects who we are. If our choice reflects who we are trying to be, then you can be very sure that in the long run that choice of ours is going cause trouble.
I will want you to be happy in whatever you do because i love you and want you to be happy forever. But even i know that you will your share downs and upsets, so i will ensure that i am always there for you.
Your happiness is not forever and neither is your sadness, but i am with you forever.
Preeti u r the only immortal sole on the face of earth ..
We , the less mortals ,bow down here !
:) :) i really agree with both of you guys- sanket and preeti... you both make perfect sense!! to me it is perfect confusion!! :) that's my dilemma.. how do i say it?? ok... preeti and sanket are swimming... they urge me to join them.. they reassure me that 'it is fun! it is going to be ok'... :) i am standing on the shore; completely understanding you guys but unable to cross-over :) :)
maybe u need a push priyanka.. one learns to swim only when thrown in the waters..and am sure u will not only swim but also cross over :) stop contemplating so much, it will only add to ur confusions..some mistakes (even if they might not be)are worth making it adds to the experiences of life and makes you wiser..and like sanket said.. happiness is in the small things of life.. find then and life will be fun..
:) :) i am inundated by responses and feedback!! :) i am thrilled... thanks preeti.. i am going to compile all the answers and that will be my next blog.. i ll take everything from everyone and see how organic it is :) :) what u said makes perfect sense... i love your uncomplicated fresh outlook towards life... :)
Thank you Sanket, but let me assure you that i am not a immortal soul. Its just that i have learned too many lessons in my life.
And Piyu i completely agree with what Preeti and Sanket has to say.
One more thing if you dont take a jump soon, i will have to push you in.
Woah! You seem to have cracked THAT CODE, man :) But, yep, while you are at it, may be it could help if you are not being too harsh on your self. :)
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