i am a woman

you know i always thought that i come from a nice, protective, cuccooned family where i can be myself and my way of life will be unchallenged. i was so wrong. i am not being accusive of anyone, at least i am trying hard not to. but as a woman, i find myself and my choices in life being challenged by my people. its absurd. it was happening to me all along but i never noticed. i have to fight with my dad for everything i want. being a woman, i am inherently taken as a dumb person. i have to prove to my father and to my boyfriend that hey! u know what, i am capable of making a success of my life. ( i may sound confident, but trust me half the time i am not sure of it myself). when i was doing my m.a everyone was so happy because i was into something 'safe' and had loads of time for my people. now that i am doing what i believe in, people are having problems because it takes up most of my time. i dont know. i feel so scared and so alone at times. i know i should not be writing something so personal. but then, this is something that happens to so many of us. i am not even afraid of people having opinions about me after reading this. i am so used to being judged always. i, on my part, make a conscious effort not to be judgmental about anyone else, though it fails many a times. however i treat this as a flaw and work on it.